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Wednesday, September 11, 2002
A lot of this entry will be specifically tailored to or revolve around my brother Joe. If you aren’t Joe, don’t worry, read on. It will still be action packed and the best entertainment you get for your dollar (but wait, I didn’t pay a... shhhh!!). Just read on. Joe has a web site and it is rockin! It makes me miss the ol’ college life though. Sounds like he has a grand ol’ time. There is a link on there that totally cracks me up. Its about ninjas and it makes me laugh a lot. Joe called the other day and I’ve not gotten back to him. Sorry, Joe. He called to see how the dog named Leibten is doing. You see, the dog named Leibten was spayed last Friday. You wouldn’t know it to look at her today. She’s totally back to her crazy hyper self. We had to keep her inside for a while (vets orders) and by yesterday she was getting really really bored with the whole staying in the house all day thing so today we let her stay outside all day. She must have enjoyed it because where as she usually scratches at the windows to come in around dinner time, today she didn’t scratch at all. And, to continue to the distinctive Joe theme, I lived Joe’s nightmare the other day. It was Sunday. I had an assignment. That assignment? It was to shoot a BEE KEEPER!!! Now let me just say, I’ve never seen an actual bee keeper before so I wasn’t sure what to expect. I had seen the bee suits. I had seen a long time ago that they used smoke (maybe on 3-2-1 Contact? I don’t remember which show it was) but I had no idea why. Well, when I get to this guy’s house (it’s more than an hour away up in the mountains), he tells me he doesn’t like to use smoke because he has asthma and it makes it so he can’t breathe. He, of course, is smoking a cigarette the whole time. Oh well. I don’t fully realize the impact of this statement, because I haven’t the faintest idea what the smoke is for. For all I knew, they use it to fool the little bees into thinking it’s expensive stage effects. (OOOH LOOK! Smoke! This must be Cher on her farewell tour, lets not sting her, ok guys?) Besides, he’s going to let me use a bee suit. I put on said bee suit. One problem - no gloves. “That’s OK,” he assusres me. “they mostly go for your face anyways.” Most reassuring. Let me just say here that I will never be a bee keeper. There’s just no incentive for me to deliberatley harbor something that wants to hurt my face. And not just keep a few mind you, no. Bee keepers have tens of thousands of things that want to hurt your face. So, we go to the bee hives and he starts to open them up. Bees fly out. They fly at my face. They bounce off the hood in the bee suit. It is scary. So far though, no stings. I’m shooting pictures, he’s showing me bees. He gets an idea in his head to show me one particular kind of bee. The bees in the hive in which he is looking are getting madder and madder. They’re litterally swarming all around me. I’m not a happy camper. Next, they discover my uncovered hands. All hell breaks loose. One lands on my hand right between two fingers and commences to a stingin’. I commences to a swattin’. I get that one off. The other bees take it personally that I’m swatting so even more start attacking me. The flash on my camera is broken off at this point from where I fell trying to get bees off. The bee keeper FINALLY realized I’m being assulted and tells me to stick my hands in my pockets and walk to the other side of the field we’re in. We wait a bit and then go back to get my camera. Guess what! Thats right! Bees are still pissed. This time trying to get my camera which they have taken over as a sort of base, I get stung two more times. Screw this, I’m thinking. I tell the bee keeper to get my f-ing camera for me cuz he’s got gloves. It wasn’t fun. He did show me the proper method for removing stingers, though. Man, it sucked. On a much more serious note, it’s 9-11. My little brother is joining the army. I’m scared for him, but damn proud too. Thank you, Nick. Please watch yourself. Driving around today I had an overwhelming urge to run out and join the Air Force. I’m what you might call a convert when it comes to patriotism. Today I wore an American flag pin and felt like crying. Enough said. p.s. - smoke makes bees mellow. 9/11/2002 11:46:00 PM |
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